The Eternity Code (Artemis Fowl, Book 3)

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"Your little schemes have a tendency to get people hurt"

Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code

Entertains To the End

great books for kids

My book review of the 3rd book in the Artemis fowl series

The Eternity Code (Artemis Fowl, Book 3)
Eoin Colfer
Manufacturer: Amazon Remainders Account
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover
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The Arctic Incident (Artemis Fowl, Book 2)

The Opal Deception (Artemis Fowl, Book 4)

Artemis Fowl

The Lost Colony (Artemis Fowl, Book 5)

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ASIN: B000B86S4S

Amazon.com

The once hard-boiled Artemis has softened a bit between his bestselling debut and the seat-of-your-pants Arctic Incident, and that trend continues in The Eternity Code: He's still plotting for a billion-dollar-plus payoff for the Fowl family, but now his enemies are human (chiefly Jon Spiro, a ruthless businessman Artemis tries to blackmail using stolen fairy technology) and he has to turn to his old adversary-turned-friend Captain Holly Short and cutpurse dwarf Mulch Diggums for help. The dialogue and action prove as smart and page-turning as ever this time around, with Artemis struggling to bring his faithful bodyguard Butler back from the dead before racing Mission Impossible-style to triple-cross the double-crossing Spiro.

Colfer's young antihero might be getting more likeable all the time, but that hasn't taken the edge off the Tom-Clancy-meets-Harry-Potter action. Artemis has to agree to a memory-erasing "mind wipe" from the People after helping them recover their technology, but only a foolish fan would count Artemis out after this blockbuster "final heist." Book four can't come soon enough.... (Ages 9 to 12) --Paul Hughes

Book Description

In this third installment to Eoin Colfer's funny, fast-paced, fairy-filled adventure series, boy genius and arch criminal Artemis Fowl once again can't resist plotting the perfect crime--and, once again, he can't keep from stirring up so much trouble that the fate of the entire fairy world teeters in the balance. The once hard-boiled Artemis has softened a bit between his bestselling debut and the seat-of-your-pants Arctic Incident, and that trend continues in The Eternity Code: He's still plotting for a billion-dollar-plus payoff for the Fowl family, but now his enemies are human (chiefly Jon Spiro, a ruthless businessman Artemis tries to blackmail using stolen fairy technology) and he has to turn to his old adversary-turned-friend Captain Holly Short and cutpurse dwarf Mulch Diggums for help. The dialogue and action prove as smart and page-turning as ever this time around, with Artemis struggling to bring his faithful bodyguard Butler back from the dead before racing Mission Impossible-style to triple-cross the double-crossing Spiro. Colfer's young antihero might be getting more likeable all the time, but that hasn't taken the edge off the Tom-Clancy-meets-Harry-Potter action. Artemis has to agree to a memory-erasing "mind wipe" from the People after helping them recover their technology, but only a foolish fan would count Artemis out after this blockbuster "final heist." Book four can't come soon enough.... (Ages 9 to 12) --Paul Hughes

Customer Reviews:

"Your little schemes have a tendency to get people hurt".......2007-09-02

First of all let me say that this book saved me from a painfully long wait at the dealership where I took my wife's minivan for service. I expected this to take about an hour or so, and that is what I was told when I got there. I should know by now not to trust these estimates, since I ended up being there for three hours. It was the perfect amount of time to finish this book though, which I had started that morning at home. Colfer helped me feel as if the three hours were only one, and that is really something to applaud!

Artemis' father is recovering in a hospital in Helsinki, from his shipwreck in the Arctic and further kidnapping by the Russian mafia. More important, he is a changed man, that has stopped considering gold to be the ultimate goal and wants to focus on his family instead. This means that Artemis will have to lead a normal life, go back to school and forget about criminal activities. But there is still time for one more run around the block, and Artemis goes for broke. He has created, with the help of fairy technology, an impressive artifact he named the C Cube. This cube can perform an extensive list of unbelievable tasks, such as track satellite activity and crack security systems. And that is just the beginning.

Artemis' plan is fairly simple, he set up a meeting with the powerful Spiro and he will offer to keep the cube of the market in exchange for a vast amount of gold. This will allow Spiro to make a killing in the stock market and sell his company at a much higher rate than he could if a competitor had the cube. However, in an uncommon turn of events, Artemis is fooled, Spiro steals the prized possession and his bodyguard injures Butler with a fatal wound. Now Artemis will need, once more, the help of the fairies, in order to perform a miracle, or he will end up losing his bodyguard and best friend.

That is not the only complication, since the cube can among its many wonders detect fairy technology. Thus, all the sensors in the underground world went off when Artemis demonstrated the cube to Spiro. Foaly, the centaur that is master and commander of the fairy technology, has decided on a lockdown. With the help of Captain Short, he is trying to figure out how to prevent the humans from discovering the People. The situations with Butler and the cube will once again throw together the characters that readers of this series cherish: Artemis, Foaly, Holly Short, and even the dwarf Mulch Diggums. We will also get to see an almost unexplored side of Juliet Butler.

Colfer has done it again, with a fast-paced and enthralling book that can be read in one sitting. There is the usual humor to go along with the captivating story and keep it fresh. But also, the author introduces another element in this book, Artemis' diary. This is an important tool to allow the reader to peek into the psyche of the criminal genius, and understand that behind the Machiavellian mind there is a boy that seeks his father approval. I do not think I can wait long before reading the next book in this series, I hope the quality remains at this level.

Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code.......2007-05-25

When Artemis Fowl was 12 years old he stole millions of dollars in gold from the fairies, and an advanced helmet. One year later using the helmet's technology he builds a C-cube that is better then any computer made by humans. So when Artemis tries to sell it isn't a surprise that someone is going to try to steal it.
After it is stolen by Jon Spiro a very rich and powerful man, he realizes that if he figures out how to use the C-cube he is exposing fairy technology to the human race. This means that the fairy's secret underground haven where they have lived for centuries in peace, that only Artemis and his Butler know about will be exposed. So when he realized how much trouble he might have caused he asks the fairies to help him get it back. But that won't be easy even with the fairies help. The fairies agree but after they get it back they will wipe Artemis's memory of the fairy people. Will they get the C-cube back? Will Artemis get his mind wiped? Will the fairies be exposed to the human race? Read Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code by Eoin Colfer to find out!

Entertains To the End.......2007-05-16

A GREAT book!!!
Great 3rd book to the Artemis Fowl series

great books for kids.......2007-05-09

I'm ostensibly buying these books for my neice and nephew to encourage their reading skills. I read them before I pass them on to them. (They've been great fun for me to read.) They are also funny, quick paced for a kid to enjoy as well as fostering imaginative reading. It's quite refreshing that the protagonist evil mastermind always ends up doing the right thing in the end. I, (I mean we,) are looking forward to the next installment.... cudos to Colfer

My book review of the 3rd book in the Artemis fowl series.......2007-04-13

Artemis Fowl the Eternity Code is really enjoyable, I extremely advise reading the first two books before reading this book. I would recommend this book to about all ages(mainly to anyone who can understand it or knows what is going on).
In Artemis Fowl it does not just start out boring then gets better,it starts good and starts becoming great. Sometime in the first chapters(they are in a restaurant) Artemis is making a deal with Jon Spiro about the c-cube(a mini computer that is 10 years ahead of it's time)the deal was that Artemis would show him the c-cube and Jon would get enough money to buy it before it comes out on to the market. Jon Spiro did not agree to the terms,and he steals the c-cube and orders his body guard (Arno blunt) to kill Artemis and Butler. (Also all the people in the restaurant they are in are hired assassins to kill Artemis and butler, and Jon Spiro is already far away from the restaurant, but butler detonates a sound bomb knocking every one out except Artemis, butler, and Arno(because they all had earplugs on). So Arno shoots Artemis but something blocks the bullet, it was butler and if nothing is done soon butler will die.
One of the charters in this book is Foaly. Foaly is extremely paranoid, and in the last book his paranoia led him to be trapped in his own lab. The description of Foaly is that he is a centaur, and he wears a tin foal hat. Foaly likes to get on commander roots nerves, and he is usually sarcastic. In this book the two parts that Foaly has(he doesn't just has two parts in this book im just giving you two) 1. That he helped Artemis escape the spiro needle by making all the cameras unable to see moving objects. 2. Probably the only one that knows how to do a certain mind wipe(or he was the one who would use it). Obviously Foaly is not the only character in this story, there is many more characters in this book. This is an enjoyable book, and series so in conclusion you should read about two chapters. if you like it keep reading, if not then you don't have to keep reading it.

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Artemis Fowl and the Eternity Code
Eoin Colfer
Manufacturer: PUFFIN (PENG)
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Action & Adventure | Literature | Children's Books | Subjects | Books

ASIN: 0141321318

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The Eternity Code (Artemis Fowl)
Eoin Colfer
Manufacturer: Puffin Books
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Audio CD

Action & Adventure | Literature | Children's Books | Subjects | Books

General | Ages 4-8 | Children's Books | Subjects | Books

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Courtesy of Teens Read Too

Artemis Fowl The Eternity Code
Eoin Colfer
Manufacturer: New York Hyperion/Miramax 2003.
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
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ASIN: 0439573882

Customer Reviews:

Courtesy of Teens Read Too.......2007-01-17

Artemis Fowl the Second has a brilliant plan--one last scheme to make his family some money, then he'll leave the crime life behind him and turn over a new leaf. Everything starts out fine, with Artemis meeting with billionaire businessman Jon Spiro to discuss a mutually agreeable arrangement. Artemis, you see, has developed the C Cube, a mini-supercomputer that can do almost anything. For the right price, Artemis will withhold releasing the Cube to the public to allow Spiro's company to catch up in the technology world. All seems well, until Spiro steals the Cube, his bodyguard, Blunt, fatally wounds Butler, and Artemis is left wondering how it all went wrong.

What follows is Artemis's desperate plea to the fairies to help heal Butler and rescue the C Cube from evil Spiro, before he becomes aware of the Fairy World and wreaks havoc on the creatures living below ground. As Captain Holly Short is once again drawn into one of Artemis's dangerous schemes, she does so, along with Commander Root, with one condition--when the C Cube is recovered, Artemis, Butler, and Butler's sister Juliet will all submit to mind wipes, erasing every trace of the fairies from their memories. Artemis agrees, desperate to save Butler's life, but already he has plans to avoid the erasure of a mind wipe.

THE ETERNITY CODE contains a lot more action-adventure than the two previous books, and a lot less of the world of Fairy. It is, though, still a very fast-paced, enjoyable read, and I'm left wanting to know what will happen next. Thoroughly entertaining, and highly recommended.

Reviewed by: Jennifer Wardrip, aka "The Genius"

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Courtesy of Teens Read Too

Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code
Eoin Colfer
Manufacturer: Hyperion
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover
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Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Book 7)

ASIN: B000HKHU8I

Customer Reviews:

Courtesy of Teens Read Too.......2007-01-17

5 PBs by Eoin Colfer: Artemis Fowl, Arctic Incident, Eternity Code + 2 More

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5 PBs by Eoin Colfer: Artemis Fowl, Arctic Incident, Eternity Code + 2 More
Eoin Colfer
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
ASIN: B000V0AFB8

Product Description

Med Sz PBs

5 Book Set ; Artemis Fowl, the Arctic Incident, the Eternity Code, the Opal Deception, the Lost Colony

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5 Book Set ; Artemis Fowl, the Arctic Incident, the Eternity Code, the Opal Deception, the Lost Colony
Eoin Colfer
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
ASIN: B000X6FH72

Artemis Fowl Set 1-3 (Artemis Fowl, Eternity Code, Arctic Incident)

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Artemis Fowl Set 1-3 (Artemis Fowl, Eternity Code, Arctic Incident)
Eoin Colfer
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover
ASIN: B000W24NTK

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Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code
EOIN COLFER
Manufacturer: Puffin Books
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
ASIN: B000OJGSWQ

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Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code
Eoin Colfer
Manufacturer: HYPERION PRESS, INC.
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover
ASIN: B000OK350S

Book Description

Fiscal and political decentralization have transformed several Latin American countries over the past two decades, but the transformation has hardly been smooth. At times, unbridled expansion of unconditional transfers has led to macroeconomic instability and principal-agent problems have made public sector management cumbersome. Most worrisome, despite a consensus that decentralization can strengthen public sector performance, social development and democracy, its results have not matched expectations.

Fiscal Federalism in Latin America: From Entitlements to Markets examines decentralization policies that work as well as those that do not. The aim is to help Latin American policymakers meet the challenge of decentralization to improve public sector performance at all levels of government by appropriately assigning jurisdiction over public goods, services, tax authority and user charges.

The book offers "building blocks"towards decentralization, including new theoretical developments and accepted lessons on how government interventions can use market proxies to enhance effectiveness; the importance of market-based decentralization approaches; and recent contributions from new institutional economics, public choice theory and the "new theory of the firm,"which holds that political jurisdictions can be thought of as pseudo-firms. The final building block is the findings of evaluations of decentralization in Brazil, Bolivia, Chile and Ecuador. The case studies ensure a balance between empirical research and theoretical context and have important implications for policymakers interested in making decentralization more effective.

Book Description

In the title essay of this classic collection, the author reviews retrospectively his developing ideas on theory and policy since he first encountered Keynes' writings in 1950. The essays in Section One are concerned with Keynes now, specifically the coming back into favor of his most fundamental ideas. Sections Two and Three contain intellectual biographies and shorter tributes to economists, most of whom were friends and colleagues of the author. Section Four covers three review articles of the Feiwell volumes on Joan Robinson, 50 years of NBE, and Nicholas Kaldor's last book. Section Five is a survey of Post-Keynesian thought; Section Six, General Essays, starts with a paper written in 1980 as a passionate reaction to the world-wide rise of monetarism and new classical macroeconomics theories and policies and closes with an essay on the Cambridge contribution to economics.

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50 Years a Keynesian and Other Essays
G.C. Harcourt
Manufacturer: Palgrave Macmillan
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
ASIN: B000OUWAPE

Book Description

A delightful excursion through the Yiddish language, the culture it defines and serves, and the fine art of complaint

Throughout history, Jews around the world have had plenty of reasons to lament. And for a thousand years, they've had the perfect language for it. Rich in color, expressiveness, and complexity, Yiddish has proven incredibly useful and durable. Its wonderful phrases and idioms impeccably reflect the mind-set that has enabled the Jews of Europe to survive a millennium of unrelenting persecution . . . and enables them to kvetch about it!

Michael Wex—professor, scholar, translator, novelist, and performer—takes a serious yet unceasingly fun and funny look at this remarkable kvetch-full tongue that has both shaped and has been shaped by those who speak it. Featuring chapters on curse words, food, sex, and even death, he allows his lively wit and scholarship to roam freely from Sholem Aleichem to Chaucer to Elvis.

Perhaps only a khokhem be-layle (a fool, literally a "sage at night," when there's no one around to see) would care to pass up this endearing and enriching treasure trove of linguistics, sociology, history, and folklore—an intriguing appreciation of a unique and enduring language and an equally fascinating culture.

Customer Reviews:

It's like old times.......2007-10-03

Reading has been limited so far, but even in small bits it's enjoyable and memorable.

Born to Kvetch by Wex.......2007-10-01

Kvetch is the art of complaining. The book is written in Yiddish rather
than standard German. The author explains how Jews take their Yiddish
with them into Slavic countries. Acceptance of Talmudic authority
distinguishes Jews from non-Jews. The Fasting of the Firstborn is
described on the eve of Passover in gratitude for G-d having spared
them.

Kosher foods are described in detail. These foods are considered fit,
proper or right. i.e. fish with fins and scales; all birds not forbidden
in the Talmud; mammals with clover hooves that chew the cud or eat
noisily with their mouths open.

Luckily, the volume contains an extensive glossary for the readership.
The acquisition would be excellent for both Jews and non-Jews alike.

In the Ground, Baking Bagels.......2007-09-02

I am not Jewish, but I grew up in Jewish homes and am guilty of being a Jew wannabe, if there is such a thing.
Not everyone seems to have loved this book, but after Wex's explanation of Talmudic scholarship, I would have expected no less. This book is scholarly, witty, insightful and revealing. The style is a little odd, in that a series of cultural insights is followed by a page of definitions; that's the only reason I withhold the last star. That said, he takes us in the darkest and earthiest origins of the Yiddish language and how it reflects the restless and oppressed culture that formed it.
One of my favorites is the expression that translates to: "I'm lying in the ground, baking bagels" given in response to the question "how's business?"
If you're lying in the ground baking bagels, you're obviously dead, it's hot,you're working instead of resting, you're dead and there's no one to even sell the bagels to.....
You get it.

kvetch.......2007-08-01

very funny. very informative. maybe a little too much information but the first 50 pages are great.

Oy a Broch, Oy veys meer, Oy Gevalt...running out of Oys!.......2007-07-28

Funny book, interesting informative. I like the style, but the best is, it's funny. (Not as funny as the memoir I also bought, entitled : "My Parents Went Through the Holocaust and All I got was this Lousy t-Shirt", which made me laugh, and cry hysterically, people thought I was having a nervous breakdown. Funny is how we survive the pain that would otherwise kill us!
Michael Wex should read Hanala's book, especially the glossary called "JEWBONICS", which is something like he has in this book. They should get together, is he married?

BetteMy Parents Went Through the Holocaust and All I Got Was This Lousy Tshirt

Born To Kvetch CD: Yiddish Language and Culture in All of Its Moods

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Great book - but reading is hard to bear
very well written
So, what's not to like?
My Turn to Kvetch
Publisher's Weekly was right - Great Book, Horrible Audio

Born To Kvetch CD: Yiddish Language and Culture in All of Its Moods

Manufacturer: HarperAudio
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Audio CD

General | Foreign Languages | Reference | Subjects | Books

Linguistics | Words & Language | Reference | Subjects | Books

General | Reference | Subjects | Books

Nonfiction | Books on CD | Audiobooks | Formats | Books
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ASIN: 0061131229
Release Date: 2006-02-28

Book Description

As the main spoken language of the Jews for more than a thousand years, Yiddish has had plenty to lament, plenty to conceal. Its phrases and expressions paint a comprehensive picture of the mind-set that enabled the Jews of Europe to survive persecution: they never stopped kvetching about God, gentiles, children, and everything else.

In Born to Kvetch, Michael Wex looks at the ingredients that went into this buffet of disenchantment and examines how they were mixed together to produce an almost limitless supply of striking idioms and withering curses. Born to Kvetch includes a wealth of material that's never appeared in English before.

This is no bobe mayse (cock-and-bull story) from a khokhem be-layle (idiot, literally a "sage at night" when no one's looking), but a serious yet fun and funny look at a language. From tukhes to goy, meshugener to kvetch, Yiddish words have permeated and transformed English as well. Through the fascinating history of this kvetch-full tongue, Michael Wex gives us a moving and inspiring portrait of a people, and a language, in exile.

Customer Reviews:

Great book - but reading is hard to bear.......2007-07-12

Like most previous reviewers, I loved this book. I did want to mention that the audio version, narrated by the author, is problematic. On the positive front, the author pronounces Yiddish correctly! The problem is in how he pronounces English. He has a very odd way of speaking, with the last word of each sentence articulated very slowly (str-e-e-e-etched out) and about three notes lower than every other word in the sentence. Every sentence ends with a melodic downturn. I found it quite maddening and really had trouble enjoying the book because of it. You may want to be careful if you plan to buy the audio book because his diction is really rather odd.

very well written.......2007-01-12

this is a scholarly, as well as entertaining, book. I always say that if I'm not complaining, check my pulse. Well now I know why.
You'll laugh, and most importantly, you'll gain understanding.
Even my husband the shaygitz enjoyed it.

So, what's not to like?.......2007-01-01

First of all full disclosure, possible conflict of interest: I know Michael Wex and think he is a genius. I would buy anything he writes, records, I don't care. His shopping lists are probably more exciting than half of the stuff in print today. So, I don't pretend to be neutral.

Recently I spent four days listening to him lecture at the annual Klezkamp get together. I couldn't stop laughing. My sister sat next to me. She was laughing so hard I thought she might need emergency medical care.

The material is potentially beyond dull. Wex's genius is that he makes it dance and makes me beg for more. Granted, I am a Yiddishist and love the language and culture. Also, I come from a similar background having sat in a yeshiva (rabbinical seminary) for several years, so I identify with much of what he discusses. However, as the old commercial for Levy's rye bread went, "You don't have to be Jewish to love Levy's." Anyone with the least interest in European Jewish culture will find this work to be a gold mine.

Why? Because what he says ( writes in his book) is, as far as I know, totally original. There is so much sentimental nonsense written about Yiddish and European Jewry. This book totally strips that away. Here you get the real, unvarnished thing.

Some people complain about his voice. For me, it is the perfect voice for this book. It is the quintessential Eastern European Jewish voice with a beautiful Canadian undertone. The tone, the flow, the candence are all classic kvetch with a generous contribution from Leonard Cohen. I grew up with many people who spoke this way. I find it totally wonderful that the publisher would have Michael read his own work; it is a stroke of genius. I listened to the entire set in my car. At times I laughed so hard I was afraid the police would pull me over. " Your honor, I was overcome with an eruptive kvetch. What can I say?"

Now I'm listening to it again. And then I'll probably do it again, and again.....

My Turn to Kvetch.......2006-06-30

Publisher's Weekly has it right. I found the author's voice annoying almost to the point to not being able to listen. But I stuck with it because the book is full of valuable information. And then just when I thought I couldn't stand it any more, he came up with a zinger that I found hilarious. So, my advice is if you can ignore or get used to the whiney voice, try to listen for the content and humor.

Publisher's Weekly was right - Great Book, Horrible Audio.......2006-06-12

This may be a brilliant and insightful book, but as an audio CD it is impossible to listen to. I wish I had paid attention to the PW review, because it is all too apt. ("The Canadian author's bizarre, somewhat hypnotic reading style--with its randomly elongated vowels--is a cross between Dustin Hoffman's Rain Man character and a classic Yiddish whine.") Imagine what it would sound like if English were chanted like a Hebrew prayer by a computer generated voice . I still plan to read this highly praised book, but for me the audio version has been a complete disaster. I have given up on it.

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Born to Kvetch

Manufacturer: St. Martin's Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
Similar Items:

Born to Kvetch: Yiddish Language and Culture in All of Its Moods (P.S.)

ASIN: 0739466542

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Kvetch and Acapulco
Steven Berkoff
Manufacturer: Grove Pr
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | Poetry | Literature & Fiction | Subjects | Books

General | Drama | Literature & Fiction | Subjects | Books

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Born to Kvetch LP
Michael Wex
Manufacturer: HarperLuxe
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Linguistics | Words & Language | Reference | Subjects | Books

General | Reference | Subjects | Books
ASIN: 0061340847

Book Description

A delightful excursion through the Yiddish language, the culture it defines and serves, and the fine art of complaint

Born to Kvetch: 2008 Day-To-Day Calendar

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Born to Kvetch: 2008 Day-To-Day Calendar
Michael Wex
Manufacturer: Universe Publishing
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Calendar

General | Calendars | Formats | Books

Humor & Comics | Calendars | Formats | Books

Games | Calendars | Formats | Books

Block Calendars | Calendars | Formats | Books

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Born to Kvetch: Yiddish Language and Culture in All of Its Moods (P.S.)

ASIN: 0789316099

Book Description

Michael Wex's hilarious, bestselling look at Yiddish language, culture, and humor is now a sharp day-to-day calendar for 2008. Combining Yiddish vocabulary-the famous expressions, colorful idioms, and shattering curses-and insights into the history of both the language and its people, Born to Kvetch 2008 will not only give you something fun to kvetch about every day, but will show you how to do it right.

Don't we all know someone who's only happy talking about what's wrong with everything? Behold the perfect gift! Fans of educated humor writing, language buffs, students of Jewish culture, and anyone who's ever thought they had something to complain about will appreciate the celebrated tsuris of this calendar. A national bestseller, Born to Kvetch is praised as "required reading" by the New York Post, "wise, witty, and altogether wonderful" by The New York Times, "a joy to behold" by the Washington Post, and "funny, erudite" by People magazine. Featuring Yiddish words, expressions, curses, and classic kvetches, providing an entirely new, time-honored vocabulary for doing what everyone loves to do all the time: complain!

Book Description

On the heels of our popular Comedy Thesaurus comes the hippest, funniest collection of Jewish humor ever published, with more than 3,000 quotations about everything from adultery to yarmulkes. These pearls of wisdom cover such topics as:

Advice: "My grandfather always said, 'Don't watch your money; watch your health.' So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather." Jackie Mason

Marriage: "I've been in love with the same woman for forty-nine years. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me." Henny Youngman

Jokes and Joking: "I'll tell you why we make fun of midgets: We're not afraid of them." Sarah Silverman

Childhood: "We had a depression fair in the backyard. A major game there was Pin the Blame on the Donkey." Richard Lewis

Book Description

Â“Someday some schlemiel out there will marry me, pay all the bills, and hug me every morning. IsnÂ't that what every mother wants and passes on to her daughtersÂ—especially when paid jobs and other income are scarce?Â”

Â“What does it feel like to live disguised as an Arab housewife for seven years in a Jewish neighborhood in Brooklyn?Â” It feels like by doing something differently, I could inspire someone to change the world in a positive way for all sides.

I wish I had a close, loving, warm, joy-filled family. DonÂ't we all? It takes work, but it can be done.

ThatÂ's why my favorite movie was My Big, Fat Greek Wedding. I look towards the characters in that movie as role models for how families with a core identity could interact with joy of life.

In the 20 chapters of One Day Some Schlemiel Will Marry Me, Pay the Bills, And Hug Me, youÂ'll find one familyÂ's role in Arab & Jewish Intermarriage: Parents and Children of Jewish Mothers and Arab Moslem Fathers Speak Out.

Customer Reviews:

Best book on domestic violence issues in the Jewish home.......2003-11-01

Best book I've seen on dealing with issues of domestic violence in the Jewish home in the US, how domestic violence in the Jewish home results in marrying someone exactly like the abuser, regardless of how far and different in ethnic group the choice of marriage partner is, we marry what is familiar. Through two marriages, first to an Arab Moslem, and secondly to a German/English agnostic/Protestant/American, the Jewish wife seeks a core identity with a loving family only to find cold, rejecting husbands like the withdrawing, abusive dad. How she solves the problem, handling domestic issues, where the half Arab and half Jewish children speak out with the parents. What should the grandchildren be told? Dealing with interfaith issues when grandchildren are forbidden by Arab parents who are half Jewish themselves to be told their grandmother is Jewish.

Takes place in Brooklyn, NY in the early sixties and forward and in California. Excellent book, highly recommended. Written exquisitely, in novel format with accurate dialogue recording the oral history, life story of an Arab and Jewish interfaith marriage in the US.

Excellent memoirs on Arab & Jewish marriage and divorce........2003-11-01

Excellent memoirs of marriage and divorce between American Jewish women and Arab Moslem men, dealing with custody differences in culture as parents and adult children seeking core identity speak out on family issues. I highly recommend to all my students this memoirs written in a fabulous novel format with dialogue by a popular novelist, playwright, and behavioral science journalist.

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