The Old Limey

Average customer rating:

High-Speed Comedy, American Style!

Don't Believe the Hype!

Witty Comedy

Insipid

Move Over, Evelyn Waugh

The Old Limey
H W Crocker
Manufacturer: Regnery Publishing, Inc.
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Contemporary | General | Literature & Fiction | Subjects | Books
Literary | General | Literature & Fiction | Subjects | Books
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ASIN: 0895261626

Book Description

What happens when a reactionary, retired British brigadier general comes to Los Angeles looking for his missing goddaughter? Comic chaos, that's what, with California beach babes, Jamaican drug gangs, and other colorful characters feuding, fighting, but not quite fornicating, in a mad search and rescue operation.

Customer Reviews:

High-Speed Comedy, American Style!.......2004-04-18

The Old Limey is easily the first great comic novel of the 21st century! It's a high-speed comedy, American-style. Which means that from the moment Nigel Haversham, a gung-ho retired British general, lands in Los Angels to rescue his goddaughter, Alexandra, who has followed her drug-dealing boyfriend Sean there, it's all go-go-go!

Finding Alexandra is the least of Haversham's problems. First, he has to contend with the problems of Penelope and April, a couple of Valley girls, who get hooked up with him in the quest. Then, there are the problems of dealing with the California cops, the Black Muslims, a Jamaican drug gang, a Mexican drug cartel and - Penelope's dad!

But Haversham is a man with a plan for every contingency. In fact, at the heart of this hilarious novel are Haversham's bumbling plans. But, so full is he of optimism that we are swept away with him to the end. It's an end with not one - but two! - startling surprises!

Loaded with insights into the workings of old-fashioned British and new-fangled America societies, The Old Limey is a light-hearted romp that will be enjoyed by readers on both side of the Pond. Mr Crocker's writing style is such that you're not so much reading words off a page as experiencing a delightful musical comedy in your head!

This is a book that will not dull with the passage of time.

Don't Believe the Hype!.......2003-11-05

I very much wanted to read this book. A sympathetic portrayal of a traditional British officer is a worthy undertaking in these politically correct times, and American popular culture and the pretensions of pseudo-intellectuals badly need to be skewered. Unfortunately, while The Old Limey was described as accomplishing these things, it was very disappointing in its execution. It simply isn't very funny, and the author doesn't demonstrate that he is very perceptive or knowledgeable about American fads and popular culture for the time in which the book takes place. Contrary to what is stated elsewhere, Mr. Crocker does not come close to approaching the mastery of either Evelyn Waugh or P. G. Wodehouse. Waugh, in such profoundly serious works as Brideshead Revisited and the Sword of Honour trilogy, was still able to evoke howls of laughter because of his biting wit and understanding of human foibles. Lesser works by Waugh such as Vile Bodies also have a great deal of humor and "bite." Wodehouse wrote beautifully, and showed a clear-eyed understanding of human nature, but with much sympathy and rollicking humor. I'm sorry, but The Old Limey doesn't show such qualities.

Witty Comedy.......2003-09-25

Retired British General Nigel Haversham just cannot seem to rid his life of problems. First, his precious goddaughter Alexandra ran off to America in pursuit of her shiftless boyfriend Sean, one of those sensitive, left leaning artists a rigid old guard conservative like Haversham despises with the heat of a million suns. When Alexandra's mother asks Nigel to go to America and track down her daughter, he readily agrees. Almost as soon as Haversham steps off the plane in California, the problems wash over him in an unending wave: he crashes his rental car after imbibing too much liquor, bringing in the unwanted attentions of the local constabulary. Since Nigel is English and promises to go home soon, the policeman lets him off with a warning. Quickly following this unpleasant escapade, the old general has a chance encounter with two beautiful California girls named Penelope and April who grudgingly agree to assist Nigel in his mission to find Alexandra. The adventures that follow twist and turn at a frenetic pace: Nigel meets up with a gang of Jamaican drug dealers, battles a gang of Latino drug dealers, disguises himself as "Bongo Topaz," a Don King look alike in order to infiltrate a nightclub, rescues one of his girls from a kidnapping attempt, and drinks enough alcohol to float the QE2 up the river Thames. Nigel Haversham, a man who helped plot strategy with Norman Schwarzkopf during the Persian Gulf War, never imagined rescuing his goddaughter would be so difficult.

This crude summary of H.W. Crocker's "The Old Limey" barely scratches the surface of this amusing and oftentimes whimsical story. All of the action centers on Nigel, of course, a man who suffers from frequent delusions of grandeur coupled with a roving eye for beautiful young women. Haversham's knowledge about America seems to come from movies or crime noir novels, as he often finds himself in dangerous situations simply because he doesn't understand how things work over here. Relying on his training as a military officer in the best English tradition, Haversham thinks nothing of blithely going up against dangerous drug gangs or marching into the headquarters of a group of Black Muslims in order to enlist their aid in his rescue mission. At one point, the old general considers the plausibility of conquering California and turning it into an Islamic protectorate of England. If some of the descriptions of this retired military officer slightly resemble Don Quixote, that's because there is, to some extent, a similarity between the two. Both characters embrace chivalrous values from the past in order to deal with modern problems. While Nigel isn't rushing off to charge any windmills, he does view things in a decidedly Victorian fashion. He doesn't understand the customs or the attitudes of these strange American creatures, but always figures another glass of gin or rum will solve any potential problems. Nigel is truly a man out of time.

"The Old Limey" takes place in a Los Angeles full of nightclubs, criminals, and beautiful women. Penelope and April, Nigel's reluctant helpers, are your typical California airheads. Both girls want to run their own image consulting business that will cater to the rich and famous, and Nigel makes copious use of their skills to track down Sean and Alexandra. He even enlists of the girls' fathers to form a coalition to fight the drug dealers. At one point, this coalition consists of a contingent of Black Muslims loaned to Nigel by the Esteemed Muslim leader Iced Khalifa, Jamaican drug dealers who want Sean to answer questions about some missing money, and a coterie of Vietnam veterans who wish to rescue Penelope from the clutches of the Latino drug gang. Nigel artfully plays these disparate groups off one another in a delightfully imperialist manner. No wonder the British possessed such a huge empire for so long; they could rely on people like Nigel to hold the whole thing together.

I am not quite sure who is the intended target audience for this story. If you like "fish out of water stories," you will probably appreciate Haversham's adventures in California. It is nice to read a story about how America looks through the eyes of a foreigner, so "The Old Limey" delivers on that level, too. Overall, while I rarely laughed out loud as I read this story, I did find it an amusing and satisfying read. I would love to see someone make a film version of this story, perhaps starring Sean Connery or some other similar bloke in the lead role. I can easily picture Connery turning in a great performance if such a film ever saw the light of day.

Insipid.......2003-03-27

I made it about one-third of the way through before I lost all interest due to plot weakness. The "hero" ends up being brain dead.

Move Over, Evelyn Waugh.......2002-05-05

H.W. Crocker has pulled off one of the hardest challenges in fiction: to write a satirical novel that is both funny and well plotted. His Nigel Haversham is an inspired creation, and his adventures in Southern California are a hoot. The humor was heightened for me by the fact that I happened to be traveling through California while I read it; this book should be required reading for anyone who lives in the Golden State, visits it, or, heck, has heard of it. The way Crocker breaks up the text with Nigel's occassional daydreams is inspired. His fantasy about annexing California for the Crown is alone worth the price of admission. We can only hope that Nigel returns for future adventures, and that Hollywood will take note. Perhaps Sean Connery or Michael Caine for the title role, updating their heroic Victorian soldiers from past movies such as "The Man Who Would be King"?

Average customer rating:

Lime

ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Contemporary | General | Literature & Fiction | Subjects | Books
ASIN: B000P8X3EC

Customer Reviews:

Drawn-out writing and inconsistent artwork........2005-11-06

"Til Death Do Us Part" is the third volume of a much-ballyhooed Superman revival from several years back. It was an attempt by DC to inject energy into the Man of Steel when the venerable teams working on the character at the time had begun to run out of steam (some of them excellent creators left over from the "Death and Return" days, like Dan Jurgens). The new teams were highlighted by Jeph Loeb, a hot writer to be sure, and a gaggle of artists headlined by Ed McGinnis, whose cartoony style was a sharp contrast to the traditional, realistic artwork that had dominated Superman for decades (probably since the legendary but sketchy Gil Kane stopped drawing Supes in the mid-eighties).

Things started out strong in stories collected in the first two volumes, but by this one, the wheels were coming off somewhat. When the books inevitably crossed over, the sharp contrast between McGinnis's style and other, more realistic artists distracted terribly from the story (though all these artists are fine creators in their own right). Also, the story seems very padded here. By the time the resolution is finished, the reader is relieved, but not because Superman is reunited with Lois. Rather, it's because the story is finally finished.

Incidentally, the story also contains a bit of an "ick" factor, as the Parasite replaces Lois Lane. Before this is revealed to the reader and to Clark/Superman, "Lois" makes Clark sleep on the couch. At the time, Clark had no idea how lucky he was.

Too Long & too irrelevant........2004-08-21

As you can see this book has a lot of pages but most of the story in these pages are just fillers. They are long and irrelevant to the main story and at a certain point makes you stop caring about the story altogether. The main premise is interesting...it's about Lois and Clark's marriage being on the rocks. Superman tries his best to accomodate to her feelings or at least what he perceives to be her feelings. While this story can be told in a limited number of issues, DC comics opts to spread it over other mini-stories that are much less interesting. The end result is you get a mediocre collection of Superman stories.

What happened?.......2004-07-01

After the great "Death of Superman" series, this work was not up to my expectations. The artwork was sadly sub-standard and it was a very weak portrayal of Superman. I can't quite picture Superman so willingly being a doormat, even for Lois. If this were my only exposure I wouldn't come back, even with the interesting twist at the end.

Introducing: Superman the Softie!.......2004-05-30

Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster created Superman to be the modern mythical hero ala' Hercules. Read the Golden Age tales collected in the Archive Editions. Superman fights for the everyman. Superman is a crusader. Superman is proactive and sometimes even works outside the law, all the while believing in the greater good. Then read this insipid volume and weep!

In the early days of the Silver Age (1950s), Superman is criticized for being more "Steel" than "Man". Therefore the warm and funny "Shazam" comics were outselling Superman nearly every month. When Mort Weisinger brought in Jerry Siegel and Otto Binder to rework the entire Superman mythos in the late 1950s, however, the book took on a change for the better. We are introduced to a Superman Family and to his Kryptonian past. Superman became a character with tragedy, family and fun all mixed together. With the 1986 revamp of the character by John Byrne, he became even more "human", having grown up in Smallville and all. The team of Dan Jurgens, Louise Simonson, Roger Stern and Jerry Ordway sought to always balance the "Steel" and the "Man" showing him as a very powerful hero who at the same time have very human sentiments.

Then came Jeph Loeb. "Superman For All Seasons", the Smallville TV series and now this. Superman is no longer the Man of Steel. He's now the man of soft-putty. Granted, Loeb wanted to bring Supes back to his Smallville roots but he tends to overdo it. Supes became a softie, a country-bumpkin. Worse is Superman's attitude towards his wife, Lois Lane. Granted, Supes is a good husband - but under the hands of Loeb and gang in this volume, Supes doesn't even dare to breathe unless Lois gives him permission! The melodrama is a little too much.

Now the story. Lois is acting like a total b*tch in this story. Superman is trying to suck up to her to make her stop acting so b*tchy! Turns out that Lois is actually replaced by Parasite (since when? oh, it happened off-panel?). Superman fights Parasite-Lois. That's all! Worse still, the story doesn't get resolved until the next insipid volume "Critical Condition" that is even worse than this one (if that is even possible)!!!

The only highlight here is the art by Ed McGuiness. Though not the traditional style associated with Superman, McGuiness is able to make everything look BIG and FUN almost effortlessly with his manga-esque art. As for the writing, most of it is done by Jeph Loeb and Joe Kelly. In my opinion, Joe Kelly can't write even if it is to save his life (read some of his JLA to see what I mean). As for Loeb, I actually like HOW he writes but not WHAT he writes. He has the ability to let the reader "see" into the thoughts of the characters but the plots are all so paper-thin that the whole thing amounts to nothing more than self-important introspection.

All in all, a TERRIBLE work by a creative team that should have delivered better. I dropped the Superman books not long after this story and the next, "Critical Condition". If this trend continues, the "condition" of the Superman books is "critical" indeed!

Very Enjoyable.......2002-07-25

Full spectrum of stories are presented here. Some fun, some touching, some exciting. I highly recommend it.

Customer Reviews:

Brilliant Drawings ý Weak Text.......2000-09-25

The third release in the »Morbus Gravis« series - »Creatura« - is pretty hollow. The text is very poorly written, also because the countless effect possibilities of a comic are not at all exploited concerning the text. This makes the text clumsy and hollow.

The story is just OK. Nearly surrealistic in its playing around with reality and dream (without comparing to Milo Manara's genius in this area! ), and with past, present and future which however is taken on much too lightly.

And the drawings are, as always from Serpieri's hand, frighteningly fantastic! But they ARE also the highlight of this comic book. Only should the artist have added more sex, and more explicit sex, to compensate for the poor story.

Average customer rating:

Master level creativity

Mas Reviewus

Mas Creaturas: Monstruo Addendum
Carlos Huante
Manufacturer: Design Studio Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

General | Drawing | Arts & Photography | Subjects | Books
General | Graphic Arts | Graphic Design | Design & Decorative Arts | Arts & Photography | Subjects | Books
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ASIN: 1933492066

Book Description

"Where are all the monsters?" was Carlos Huante's question in his first book. And then the questions kept coming... "What if Medusa could somehow create her own kind?" "What if Hera was a disease, a virus or a fatal agent instead of the goddess?"

There is no end to the fantastical visual answers that Carlos provides to his own creativity-inducing questions.

Customer Reviews:

Master level creativity.......2007-07-19

This book size although is not big, But The author Carlos Huante's talent creativity has filled in the full book each page.
He regarding the human body change is splendid, looks him regarding the human body structure precise understanding, I believed Carlos can become a master like H.R.Giger!

Mas Reviewus.......2007-01-04

I accidentally stumbled on to this book. I had no knowledge of who the artist was, but I am glad to have to go ahead and take a risk. This book is as said an addendum, it is a short collection of Carlos' art work, which is fascinating and interesting if you like the odd monster or two. The let down is there is minimal text to his work, which is dissapointing.

But then you could just go out by his other book!!!!

Average customer rating:

Creatura Mania Flores/make Bead Flowers

Manufacturer: Catapulta
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Spiral-bound

General | Infantil y juvenil | Libros en español | Formats | Books

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Creator est Creatura: Luthers Christologie als Lehre von der Idiomenkommunikation (Theologische Bibliothek Topelmann 138) (Theologische Bibliothek Topelmann)

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Creator est Creatura: Luthers Christologie als Lehre von der Idiomenkommunikation (Theologische Bibliothek Topelmann 138) (Theologische Bibliothek Topelmann)
Oswald Bayer , and Benjamin Gleede
Manufacturer: Walter de Gruyter
ProductGroup: Book
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ASIN: 3110192764

Product Description

The anthology examines the historical and systematic dimensions of Luther's concentration of Christology on language-philosophically conceptualized communication through the use of idioms. In addition to background analysis on the history of tradition, historically there are also extensive reception-historical investigations on the Late Reformation and Orthodoxy. The work addresses not only the underlying metaphor theory, but also the capacity of the concept as a whole.

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Creatura
Paul Lucas
Manufacturer: Hard Shell Word Factory
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 0759939489

Download Description

Science Fiction: Part human. Part animal. These are the genetically-engineered races of the Creatura, the only survivors of a global pandemic, who slowly try to rebuild a world left empty and devastated by the death of the human race three hundred years before.

Shana Feles, a scrappy Felinoid relic hunter, just wanted to finish the mission to the Buffalo ruins, collect her money, and maybe snuggle up to that cute medic Twilight. But then she and her friends stumble across an ancient secret dating from before the Pandemic. A secret some of her fellow Creatura will do anything--and kill anyone--to gain for themselves.

Book Description

From the exotic parrot to the hopping frog, clear directions for 10 simple origami creations in this how-to manuel will keep young origami enthusiasts entertained. Eighty sheets of traditional square origami paper is included in a rainbow of colors.

Creatura Mania Personas/make Bead People

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Creatura Mania Personas/make Bead People

Manufacturer: Catapulta
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Spiral-bound

General | Infantil y juvenil | Libros en español | Formats | Books

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Creaturas
Julie Collings
Manufacturer: Klutz Latino
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Spiral-bound

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Book Description

This how-to kit contains instructions for making beadlings, itty-bitty creatures made out of shimmering glass beads strung on wire, and comes with materials for all nineteen projects.

Mini criaturas irresistibles hechas a base de brillosas chaquiras y alambre de plata. Este libro contiene simples instrucciones e ideas para hacer estos trepadores, bichos voladores, gente y animales marinos y incluye toda la material para diecinueve proyectos.

Garzanti - Gli Elefanti: Creatura Di Sabbia

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Garzanti - Gli Elefanti: Creatura Di Sabbia
T Ben Jelloun
Manufacturer: Einaudi
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Binding: Unknown Binding

La strana creatura del caos: Idee e figure del male nel pensiero della modernita (Saggi)

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La strana creatura del caos: Idee e figure del male nel pensiero della modernita (Saggi)
Eugenio Spedicato
Manufacturer: Donzelli
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Edit Me Please- An Excess of Ego

Only Insatiable if you enjoy name dropping after name dropping

FLIES IN THIS SOUP

empty, empty

an insatiably smug ego

Insatiable: Tales from a Life of Delicious Excess
Gael Greene
Manufacturer: Mysterious Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 0446695106

Book Description

With her passion for fine food and, above all, her appetite for love and life, Gael Greene traces her rise from a Velveeta cocoon in the Midwest to powerful critic of New York magazine. Love and food, foreplay and fork play, haute cuisine and social history--all become inextricably linked as the author lifts the lid on her most provocative subject yet--herself. Along the way there are tales of her saucy erotic adventures and intimate portraits of the culinary icons of our time--Julia Child, Andr+ Soltner, James Beard, among others--and revealing dissections of New York's legendary "in" spots, including Elaine's, Le Bernardin, Le Cirque, Odeon, and Balthazar.

Customer Reviews:

Edit Me Please- An Excess of Ego.......2007-07-22

Will I ever finnish this tedious tome? An excess of ego and pointless information. Ruth Reichel's exsquiste "Comfort Me with Apples" benefitted from a genius of editing, I longed for more. With Insatiable I want less. Ms. Greene sometimes writes about food as if it were ad copy.

I had to laugh when she wonders after her second one night stand with Clint Eastwood "I wondered if there could have been something more beyond the hotel room that night"....

I would urge anyone interested in food writing and personalities worth spending time with to read all three of Ruth Reichel's memiors, any of MFK Fisher, and Amanda Hesser's "Cooking for Mr. Latte". A rewarding read awaits you.

Only Insatiable if you enjoy name dropping after name dropping.......2007-07-09

I was so looking forward to another food critic's life story like Ruth Reichl's Garlic and Sapphire - one of the best books I have ever read.

I was seriously dissappointed. I realize that at the time Greene became a food critic, critics were well known by the restauranteurs and treated like Queens with special menus the rest of the people dining did not ever see, but I had no idea how bad it was. To think everyones opinion was determined by a few egotistical food critics in New York who never ate the way the rest of the people did is disgusting. Couple this with her flamboyant use of her magazines money to pay for all her meals (and her lovers meals) and you can't find a reason to enjoy the true life of Gael Greene.

Frankly, for me, her little splurge with a porn star was the most interesting part of the book, but then she would move on to sleep with the very chefs she was reviewing.

Halfway through the book it became a real snore with very little mention of food - which is why a foodie would buy such a book. Instead it was one celebrity name after another, one bit of gossip after another and list after list of names of chefs and all their restaurants and if they made it or not. It was more one long dull gossip column than a book.

FLIES IN THIS SOUP.......2007-07-05

THERE IS GOOD SCHMUTZ AND BAD SCHMUTZ. THIS BOOK IS EITHER FICTIONAL, OR BAD SCHMUTZ. THERE ARE GLARING ERRORS TO BOOT. CONTRARY TO THE AUTHOR'S HUGE MISTAKE, THE WIDOW OF THE FAMOUS RESTAURATEUR HENRI SOULE WAS UNSUCCESSFUL IN ALL OF HER LAWSUITS TO GET PART OF HIS ESTATE. AND WHY WOULD THE AUTHOR INCESSANTLY REFER TO SOULE'S LIFE PARTNER, MRS SPALTER, AS HIS "MISTRESS", OVER AND OVER? THIS ELDERLY COUPLE SHARED THEIR LIFE AND WORK 24 HOURS A DAY EVERY YEAR. ONE REFERENCE WAS BAD ENOUGH, WHY HAMMER IT OVER AND OVER?

AND THE WORD IS NOT "MATERIZED", IT IS "MADERIZED", THAT IS, WINE THAT IS OXIDIZED DUE HEAT AND TURNED CARMEL COLORED. EVERYONE WHO DRINKS OR READS ABOUT WINES KNOWS THAT.

THE CONCENSUS OF ALL REVIEWS TO DATE ALL ECHO THE SAME BASIC SUMMARY, THIS IS SCHMUTZY WITHOUT BEING FUN.

empty, empty.......2007-06-08

If Reichl's memoirs were a nourishing meal, then Greene's is a bag of chips. Reichl's trilogy about her life in food is ultimately about developing relationships, and discovering how to make a meaningful life.

Greene's book, in contrast, reads as a series of lists 1) foods she has eaten 2) men she has slept with 3) celebrities she has known. There is no real character development, nor any personal insights.

True, she has enjoyed amazing, sumptious meals, but to what end? There is no meaning to her life beyond the endless quest for rich meals on her employer's dime. Her sexual appetite, although clearly prodigious, leads her to make empty choice after empty choice. Some people will wish that they shared Greene's luck that allowed her to live a completely self-indulgent life. But most sensible people will be grateful that they haven't haven't wasted every moment pursuing nothing.

An empty life leads to an empty book--a bit ironic considering the title. Reichl's books, though far less sexual, are fare more sensual and satisfying.

an insatiably smug ego.......2007-05-09

I found this so disappointing after "Garlic and Sapphires". Now Ruth maynot be entirely the lovely soft warm and cosy food writer this book presents her to be, but I am completely convinced that Gael Greene is the egotistical self-satisfied "foodie" that her writing inadvertently and occasionally advertently reveals her to be.

I found this a dull read - her sexual exploits were presented so smugly and without eroticism that I found the passages dull by the end, and so many of her foodie anecdotes (as she tells us so many times she is a foodie, just in case we didn't work it out) seem to be included just because she has done the research or recalled the restaurant and can't bear to leave it out. whether it is of interest wasn't a relevant litmus test apparently.

In fact, smugness pervades the entire book, and even her excellent work with Citymeals on Wheels doesn't reprieve the whiff of the self-satisfied, over-fed epicure she appears to be.

This book lacks the humanity of "Garlic and Sapphires" while managing to be far more intimate and revealing about the author than I think even she intended.

Avoid it.

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